So it happens. It happens all the time. The guy you kid around with, drink with, cry with, ask guy advice from. He sees you in your sweats. He knows all about your conquests. He's seen you with your hair a mess, straight out of bed. He's seen you wasted drunk with your makeup a mess. He's held your hair while you throw up tequila, while giving you a bag instead of leading you to the bathroom because he knows it would gross you out the next day.
And it starts with a look. A word. A smile unlike all the other smiles exchanged, and everything changes. Everything looks different, sounds different, is heard differently. And a casual look like millions before, means something more. But he's your best friend.
And when things change, and flirting begins, and looks linger... What then? What do you do when you look at your best friend and you realize you could potentially be in love with him?
Its complicated, and awkward and has major potential to be something absolutely terrible. The jealousy eats at you when he mentions other girls. It bubbles and seethes and boils. It slowly melts at the tough interior you have guarding your heart.
And it's hard because he knows you, but a little doubt pulls at your hair annoyingly reminding you that your not like the other girls he's always with. Your not as thin, as blond, as pretty. The comparisons keep jumping out at you, a constant reminder that he typically goes for a certain media obsessed type that your voluptuous frame will never be, even at your thinnest.
Its when songs make you think of him. Its when you catch yourself smiling when you think about him. Its when he smiles at you, and you get butterflies. It's that thing you thought would never happen to you... And it does.
And it sucks, its horrible because; I'm in love with my best friend.
Its a problem when you let them in, you see... when you get to know them and let them get to know you. Its when you trust them. When he's the one guy you know can hurt you, and sincerely hope he doesn't. It's knowing that this whole thing can be potentially disastrous because if he doesn't feel the same way, this rejection will actually hurt. Not a bruised ego sort of hurt, but an, I love you and I don't understand why you wouldn't love me back sort of hurt.
I look forward to seeing him every day. I get butterflies when I hear his voice which is just BEYOND sexy. He smells so good, it makes the hair stand on my arms. And he is my best friend.
What now?
